I feel sick to my stomach.
Overwhelmed.
Nauseous.
I think I’m about to vomit.
My consulting producer has cut a sweet deal with a production company to “shop” Hot Mess Millionaire to networks and streaming platforms.
I should be happy but all I want to do is puke. Cry. Crawl into the closet and hide.
I’m deadass about this.
My stomach is in knots.
My sleep is in the toilet.
My mind is all over the place.
To add insult to injury I need an entertainment attorney. If you know one who has integrity and patience, holla at your girl.
The more I talk to the attorney’s the worse I feel.
I can feel my confidence draining from my soul.
I feel myself regressing to a baby who cries with her whole body because words are too small.
The contracts are labyrinths.
The language includes phrases like “lock-in,” “for life,” and “all rights.” I feel like if I sign, I’m serving 25 to life.
#imfeelingsickagain
I miss touring.
Just being with, training, and loving on my sisters.
Hollywood is stressing me right now.
And yet I know I NEED to walk this out.
I NEED to finish this.
Hot Mess Millionaire on Amazon Prime has over EIGHT MILLION STREAMS IN A YEAR AND A HALF!!!! With a 4.6 out of 5.0-star rating.
I had a production company make a verbal offer within two days and send a contract in less than a week.
I need to finish this.
If I don’t try, I will never know.
God would not give me a dream that wasn’t already manifested in the mind of God.
I must finish this.
“It is finished.”
A rallying cry from Calvary.
Lets me know I’m not the only one who the Call physically hurts.
I must get an entertainment attorney to keep me from signing my life away or walking away from ALL of this!
Pray for me.
I’m clear this is “good” stress but my body doesn’t care. I want to cry, puke, and hide in the closet and rock.
Good stress.
Bad stress.
Stress is stress is stress.
AND my hormones are completely out of wack!! I am getting a new hormone doctor to help me not want to pimp slap people for breathing my fuckin’ air!
I quit today.
I just want Happy and Mr. Mine right now.
If life were a boxing match, today I lost this round.
By: Dr. Venus Opal Reese
Date: 10.14.21
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