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(Real & Raw Series) Wants

WARNING: Sexually explicit. Subversive Christianity. Reader discretion is advised. 

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Dear God,

I miss being touched.

Breath on the back of my neck.

Fingertips on my thighs, in my mouth…

But I don’t have the shoulders to bear the dead weight

of emotional responsibility.

Is it too soon, Lord?

You said to ask, and I would receive.

Knock, and the door would be opened.

I have wants, desires, Lord…

My flesh is screaming.

My heart is hiding behind you,

like a child clinging to the back of her mother’s leg

as she peeps from behind momma’s knee.

Can I handle intimacy?

Not sex. But really soul sharing?

I want to know what it feels like to be wanted—not needed.

I want to know what it feels like to brim with a passion so all-consuming 

it slurs my thoughts into one titanic ache in between my hot wet hungry lips, quivering, shimmering, reducing me to guttural utterances, sighs, wails, and moans.

I want to know what it feels like to be so connected with another

our souls kiss, intertwine and become one with you God.

Do I want too much, Lord?

Am I worthy of such a love?

I wonder…

Would someone ever truly care enough to learn me?

To understand my hurts and comprehend my cries?

To give me space but catch me, should I fall?

The loneliest place in the world is to love someone, who won’t let you in.

I want in.

I want to know all your secrets.

The things you are ashamed of and the places you hide.

I want to see every scar, jagged and raw and pour love on 

them until they are as smooth as a pearl.

I want to be the breath that gives you life in the morning 

and the tender, precious embrace you need 

at the end of the day when life has been just too much.

I want to make love with the lights on.

And for you to look me in my eyes, see God, 

as we cum… at the same time.

I want passion Lord.

And protection.

Nurturance.

I want to kiss you hard and long in Paris and make you forget your name in Rome.

I want to surprise you with heels, red lipstick, garters, and a belted trench coat, catch you 

on your lunch break and fuck you in a corner of your parking garage.

I want to be so safe with you, your hand around my throat is a blessing. 

You make sex, sacred. 

Holy.

God—do I want too much?

Is a want a need?

You said you would supply my every need…

What do I do with this, Lord?

Let me hear from you.

In Jesus name, I pray,

Amen.

vor 11/11/19

Title: Wants

#erotica #loneliness #faith #sensual #desire 

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