The only constant in life is change.
As this year snuggles down into the warmth of rest, I look over my shoulder at the losses:
– [ ] life after the death of my brother.
– [ ] The dissolution of my internet business structures left over from “pre-COVID” days.
– [ ] Turning 50 with the aches & hormonal changes that come with aging.
Sis, the truth is, I’m tired.
After two years of COVID, quarantine, cancel culture, and the ugliness of humanity, I no longer am willing to fight.
I’m tired of life.
In honor of self-preservation, I’m downsizing.
Going forward, I will only post two maybe three times a week.
I’m not taking private clients. I need to focus on writing instead of pouring into others.
One email/blog a week that way I’m spending more time on creating content to sell to television or publishing more books than giving away free content.
I’m choosing to focus on my relationship with God, my dreams, and being loved by my Him.
My Him moved in for a week to take care of me over the holidays.
He wanted to help me cope with Tory’s transition. He cooked, cleaned, washed & folded clothes. He took Happy and I to Orange County to see pretty lights on people’s homes. He brought a x-mas tree for our first “Couple’s Non-Christmas” Christmas and taught me how to make smothered turkey wings in a crockpot!
If THAT’s not love, I don’t know what is!
He made me laugh and held me as I cried.
I’m realizing just how much energy I put out versus how little energy comes in to nurture me. It’s an old wound I have from the past. My Him is creating new traditions for the future that doesn’t require I do life alone. He’s teaching that it’s ok to let myself be supported, nurtured and loved.
This is a change for me. In order to accept his love I have to let go.
So I quit.
I let go.
I give up having to earn and pay for love in any way, shape, or form.
I’m giving up doing any and everything that doesn’t feed me or serve me.
I’m no longer filling in the gaps of others or tolerating ineffectiveness just to keep the peace.
I’m no longer over-giving or doing things that simply no longer work for me.
I’m tired of making shit work.
I’m done with it.
In this new year, I AM CHANGING.
I’m pouring all of my energy, genius, resources, and loving into myself and doing what fulfills me.
I am trusting God to provide for me as a creator of groundbreaking, revolutionary, and pioneering television shows.
I’m changing/shifting/evolving from Internet Marketing to Entertainment.
And I am making room to get married to an extraordinary Black Man of integrity, empathy, excellence and ingenuity. I feel like God is calling me to focus on healing Black love WHILE I live it.
This man treats me like a princess, worships me like a goddess, and respects me as his queen. I nurture his heart, give him safe space to be vulnerable, and empower his leadership as a father and in the world.
Truth be told, I’m standing for that Michelle and Barack kind of love.
Where we win together.
We empower each other.
We make the world a better place because of how we love one another.
So Instead of resisting change, I’m surrendering to it.
I’m changing because I’m growing. I’m able to grow because I am healed. I’m letting go of those things behind me. It’s time to move forward.
I’m falling back not falling off!😂
I’m redesigning my life as a Black Woman who is worthy of being loved, supported and celebrated.
A Black Woman who is healed, healthy and whole.
A Black Woman who’s time has come.
I invite you to grow with me as I evolve into this new year.
I can’t WAIT to see what God is about to do in my life!! I’m about to be WOWED by God!
I love you, sis.
Happy New Year!