Is it worth it?
The effort it takes JUST to live?
To put one foot in front of the other?
To inhale then exhale?
I’m trying Lord.
I’m still emotionally eating carbs like candy. I know I shouldn’t have.
Sleep and I wrestle nightly to early morn.
But I’m trying to grieve and live simultaneously.
I hired two personal trainers: one for circuit the other for repair and sculpting–
I’ve ordered 18 healthy meals a week–
I’m scheduled biweekly for deep tissue massage–
I’ve subscribed to an online dating service for highly successful people–
–all so I can feel good about being alive again.
The unscripted television project I’m attached to is moving forward–
I’m writing my second pilot–
I’m applying to a television insider mentorship–
–all so I can keep my mind future-focused instead of spacing out thinking about Tory.
I’m mentoring early-stage entrepreneurs as a tithe–
I’m transforming, healing, and building futures for my private clients–
I’m empowering my team to provide leadership in the spirit of excellence–
— all so I have peace, space, and certainty to grieve without worrying.
I play with Happy while I work out–
I listen to Happy’s signals that let me know I need to rest–
I laugh so hard my belly aches when Happy gets in my space so I can love on him–
–all so I know that life is worth living no matter how I feel.