Grace begets miracles…
Dana Chanel https://instagram.com/
shared that she was terrified about being with a man who could not provide financially.
The fear came from her childhood being raised by a single mom. The lack of financial support had an emotional impact on her mother’s ability to nurture her.
Why?
Her mom’s need to provide for two children, without financial support from her father, used up all her resources.
Here is the three-minute reel: https://www.instagram.com/
As I listened, my heart broke in a beautiful way. This three-minute reel gave me compassion for my mother. It also spotlighted the loss of not having my father in my life.
Often we see our moms and/or dads as “parents” instead of “people.” Human beings without a manual, adapting and providing for us at the cost of emotional intimacy and support.
This phrase from Dana touched my heart in a tender, aching place:
“She deserves my grace.” Wow.
I believe strongly we access the God of our understanding through grace.
Grace.
Grace.
Grace.
How often I have withheld it as a form of petty payback.
Villainizing people I loved for acting out their wounds on me.
As I’ve healed, I see now how tragically wounded people are.
Until enough of us heal to the point grace wins over righteous finger-pointing, payback, or justification for petty malicious behavior, we will continue to blame and tear each other to shreds.
I say no.
I love you too much to be right about how wrong you are.
What if we shifted our way of relating from “you’re wrong” to “you’re wounded?”
We want compassion, empathy, understanding—but do we give it?
Or do we make people pay for their sins?
I know I have.
It got me nothing.
I had to realize that my righteous anger didn’t take the pain away.
It only kept me trapped in the past.
But when I found grace I was clearly able to see the lesson, but more importantly the BLESSING from the pain!
If Momma hadn’t put me out, I would never have gone to high school to eat.
Had I not gone, I would never have met the teacher who saved my life.
Had I not met my teacher, I would have never graduated from high school then college.
Me going to school created a new trajectory for my bloodline.
My brother went from hustling to getting a Masters degree.
My nieces and nephew have professional careers.
My mother received a citation from the city of Baltimore for starting a community garden.
Be clear: I did NOTHING directly to cause these results. Because I can identify the blessing from the bad stuff, how can I resent it? When I can own the blessing, grace is a natural fall out.
Much like Joseph and his brothers who tried to kill him, it all served a greater good. But you will never see it if you don’t have grace.
Question: who deserves your grace today?
I encourage you to give it.
Grace begets miracles.
I love you,
Dr. Venus
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