I’m more girl than woman with you.
You speak to me in pleas instead of demands.
You soften me.
You take away the danger.
You make it safe to be fragile.
I know I am wounded.
You know it too.
You turn my wounds into credibility.
Then justify why
I am supposed to be loved like this.
Gentle and soft.
You touch me like I am fragile.
Your fingertips trace the lines of my face like I’m a mirage.
Too good to be true for you.
You lean in close…
Your breath on my cheek
Warm and moist…
Your lips trail softly to my ear…
“I love you Venus Opal Reese.
Let me love you. Please let me…”
I make room for you inside.
I feel something within me awaken.
A piece of me that ran away and locked herself in a high tower filled with books in the form of a mental labyrinth, confusing and impossible to figure a way out.
My little girl self who stopped feeling safe at 6 when she gave her first blow job as payment for playing jacks.
She found safety in books that would whisk her away from the pain of being beaten and starved because she looked like her father…
She divorced herself from her body so it could not be used against her.
But you lavish love upon her heart.
My battered emotionally raped heart.
Big gumdrops of Candyland love
that can only be given but never earned.
Your love guides me.
Out of the tower of my terrified heart.
Through the labyrinth of my razor-sharp intellect…
… Into a nurturing garden of yellow dandelions, happy tulips and white roses….
…where it is safe to be a girl.
I didn’t know how unsafe
I was until your love.
I didn’t know how guarded
I was until your grace.
I didn’t know how hurt my heart was until you persistently pour love on it.
Thank you for taking such precious care of my little girl self.
Your love is growing me up into your woman.
But for now…
…I relish being
By: Dr. Venus Opal Reese