Today is Tory’s funeral.
It will be done via zoom.
COVID doesn’t let family mourn in person.
Getting on a plane would have been useless. None of the rituals one depends on to survive the death of a loved one applies in quarantine.
No wiping away each other’s tears.
Not even the ritual of getting dressed in black to gather and bear witness to each other’s sorrow.
Well, nothing humane.
Just a computer screen.
Forgive me Lord for my ungratefulness.
Zoom is better than nothing.
Considering the astringency of this virus, it’s by the grace of God we’re able to gather at all.
Even if it is virtual.
A COVID-19 nurse sang “Amazing Grace” in honor of the 400,000 who have transitioned. Her words and song helped me feel less alone.
Beyond anything I can explain, I feel part of a national family of grievers.
Hearing her speak of how hard it is on her to be with COVID patients made me feel like Tory wasn’t alone in that hospital room.
If his nurse was anything like this nurse, then I can imagine he was handled with care and love.
I can make up that his nurse made sure his pillows were comfortable and the temperature in his room was just right.
That maybe she sang to him.
So he didn’t feel like he died alone.
Maybe she touched–no–held his hand as the life left his body.
Or maybe she just sat near him so he could hear the steady pace of her breathing and HE could imagine the breath he was hearing was his newly wedded wife, or his daughter, or Momma.
Perhaps his nurse wore perfume that smelled of peace and rose water. And he floated away warm and pain-free.
I don’t know.
But just hearing the humanity of this nurse, gave me the sense of just how amazing grace is.
Little mercies we don’t count…
…until they are not.