I love you.
I get scared sometimes.
I worry I’m not good enough for you.
I feel inadequate mostly.
You birthed me a Black Woman.
I’m created in your image.
And as far as I am concerned, you are beautiful.
So if I am created in your image and likeness…
…then I must be beautiful too, right Lord?
I must be as perfect as all of your creations.
The birds.
Trees.
Stars.
You made them perfect.
Whole.
Beautiful.
Distinct in every way.
I know your word cannot come back void.
You are not a man.
You can not lie.
My God could never lie.
Not to me.
Not about me.
You told me I am the head and not the tail.
You told me I am your righteousness.
You told me I am loved, for eternity.
You told me I am your hands and feet, Lord.
You told me to tell the truth.
To never back down.
To stand my ground.
You said you would never leave me.
And you have not.
You order my steps instinctively.
I trust you, Lord.
I may not be pretty.
Or smart.
Or anything worth loving.
But I am yours.
I may never fulfill the Call you have kept me alive for.
And perhaps, if it be thy will, my life will prove useful.
But if I never birth 100 billionaire black women
or
disrupt tech
or
know what it feels like to be loved by another soul…
… I don’t mind.
I have been loved by you, Lord.
I have been accepted by you, God.
I have been trained by you, Messiah.
Very few humans will ever know what it feels like to walk with God.
Thank you for walking with me all the days of my life.
Thank you for calling me beautiful and wondrous in your eyes.
Thank you for loving a wretch like me.
I don’t deserve you, Lord.
I’m completely unworthy of your love.
Grace.
Mercy.
Favor.
I hope you like my new hairstyle Lord.
I hope know how much I value what you think of me.
I hope you know how much you mean to me.
I love you God.
I love you so very much.
Thank you for being my only measure.
Thank you for birthing me Black Woman.
Thank you for training me on the streets.
Thanks for educating me at Stanford.
Thank you for using me like you use so many of the Old Testament hot messes as messengers.
We are about to start marketing my tech start-up.
I have done my best.
May it be pleasing in your sight Lord.
Let it heal us and set us free.
Let your will be done.
In Jesus name,
So be it.
So it is.
Asè.