Happy and I are moving to LA!!! Turns out our home from the water damage will take MONTHS to fix and we need stability. My eating is for shit, anxiety is high and my bones (especially my knees, lower back, and shoulders) are aching.
Stress kills. But it will not take me out!🤣
I have a MAJOR meeting this Monday with an EXTRAORDINARY agency/management company that feels divinely orchestrated. Since I had to go to LA for the meeting, Happy and I will use the trip to find our new home.
I tried to look for homes myself but became overwhelmed. I get proud sometimes; like I should be able to do SOMETHING myself. But the truth is I don’t know enough about LA to make an informed decision.
I know I DON’T want to own. I hate managing a property. I wish to lease—at least for a year as I give my dreams a chance.
I need to give Tanya Edwards-Griffin love for waking up at the crack of dawn to give me a geography lesson about the various communities in the LA area. There are SO many! I looked up locations and became so overwhelmed I went back to bed for almost 3 hours.
🤣🤣 I finally swallowed my pride and called my realtor, Rene. He will take it from here. Rene found our San Diego home. Now he will find out LA digs!
It is humbling to face reality. But it also sets me free to not struggle, stress and suffer by doing it alone. And it sets me up to win. To Thrive. To have what I want with ease, joy, and fulfillment.
Speaking of facing reality, I realize I’m no longer an internet marketer. I’m an entertainer. An artist. A media personality. A brand. Like Kevin Hart. Nick Cannon. Mona Scott-Young. Tyler Perry. Magic Johnson. Oprah. I create content that people connect with in multiple ways on multiple platforms. I didn’t realize this (until Theo, my publicist told me) but it’s ALWAYS been this way. I can’t NOT create. So it makes sense to go to where that is rewarded: LA.
In truth, I’ve been afraid of LA. Like I was scared of NYC. Let me explain.
I was accepted into NYU twice. Once for an undergraduate degree and again for my MFA. Both times I choked. I didn’t believe in me. I felt inferior. I was too afraid to try.
So I settled. I went to undergrad school in Long Island, NY. I was close enough to New York to FOOL myself into thinking being NEAR New York was just as good as living there because I had access to auditions and shows.
It was a lie.
I moved to San Diego telling myself that same lie 30 years later.
But when I saw all my belongings packed up due to the water damage in my unit, my mind jumped directly to moving to LA. I realize I have been flirting with being a performer my entire life but have been too chickensh#t to try. To believe. To commit to my dreams.
I’ve let myself be distracted by relationships, people, and even having a multimillion dollar business.
But ALL of those things broke down because they are not my destiny.
So, I surrender God.
I give it ALL up.
The business.The money.The relationships.
I don’t need to be a millionaire anymore. I’d rather be fulfilled. AND I’m open to being both while having it all.
My heart’s desire is to have my life make a difference. To finish the work God put in me as my conception. And I can’t do that without a full-body head/heart/soul/spirit commitment and singularity of focus.
Hear me when I say this: I am not afraid.
I have liquidated my life on purpose. When I told God, I wanted a new life, I meant it.
And it is arising.
So I thank all the people, places, things, breakdowns, betrayals, floodings, f$ck yous, failed funnels, unreturned emails, ignored voice mails, gossips, haters, broken communications, no communications, walkouts, deliberate sabotages, money grabbers, users, liers, rule changers, blamers, lurkers, cowards who read my words but will not speak to me in order to keep tabs, and all things/behaviors and expectations I have simply outgrown. I thank you for it all. I forgive you. I forgive myself for attracting and tolerating you in my life. You were just a distraction from my destiny.
I’m excited for the life that is pulling me to it like a butterfly to honeysuckle flowers in bloom.
I give myself permission to fulfill my destiny with ease, joy, authentic self-expression and fun!
It’s time for me to reach the world.
I’m ready. I got some sh#t to say.
Thanks for witnessing…